1.31.16
Woke up to see my sweet girl just smiling and grinning as big as she could. I took a little video to remember. She lights up when we walk in the room. She’s finally noticing who we are, or at least she knows, ‘hey, they’re around a lot, I need them.’ She took the bottle from my sister right away. She was doing so well, we put her in my lap and I tried feeding her halfway through… and she did it! MY BABY TOOK A BOTTLE… FROM ME! First time ever, without tears from both of us. Praise you sweet Lord! This makes my heart so happy. So many prayers have been answered, hundreds of them! If this little girl only knew how many people were praying for her to just simply take a bottle! It worked. She learned a new trick in a just a few days that usually takes weeks to transition. It was such a special happy time for the two of us. We were both grinning ear to ear.
Kinsley and Mack played with Eva, then my sweet grandmother came for the day to take care of us, clean and cry. I can’t take care of Eva on my own yet, it’s hard to lift her and move her around, especially as wiggly as she is. I’m a lot more swollen and puffy today, so tried to spend more time laying flat towards the end of the day. It’s so hard to just lay around, letting everyone else take care of everything. I’ve never had a major surgery, not used to being down for days. My vision is still off, hard to focus on things close, hopefully temporary. The port is feeling a bit less sore, but still so strange, a foreign object embedded under my skin, next to my collarbone. Already looking forward to having that thing removed. Finding the ole bag-o-pee a little more convenient with each day, though. Ha.
My phone is beeping and ringing constantly. After sharing the news on facebook and instagram, the texts, emails, messages and comments have flooded in. So many kind words of love, support and prayers… and then dozens of sweet mothers offering their own breastmilk for Eva?! I tear up at such a generous and thoughtful offer. It’s overwhelming… and so wonderful. I can’t even begin to write everyone back, but I read each and every one. Stories of other loved ones who have also dealt with cancer and illness and so many experiences shared. Seeing my post shared all over facebook and unfold on social media is so strange, like I’m watching from the outside. I wonder when it will really feel like this is ME going through this? Right now, I’m thankful for the peace from God protecting me from that reality.
If you’re reading this, please know that we read each of your messages and are so very grateful. We feel your mountains of love and support for our sweet little family. It’s so encouraging. I can’t believe how many people are just covering us with love and prayers. Clients, friends, people I haven’t seen in years, it’s very humbling.