cancer // survivor

I was scheduled to have my first post-treatment PET scan yesterday. I was anxious the entire ride to the hospital. Josh was, too. We were both so quiet. We park and walk inside. I hadn’t walked those hallways since my last chemo treatment… I remembered how horrible I felt that last week of treatment. We passed something that smelled like the infusion center and made me shiver and feel nauseated… We walked into the radiology office. We sat in the… Read more »

cancer // the end of chemo

I did it! We did it. I finished the final round of chemo treatments. 18 treatments of chemo. 40 doses of radiation. It’s over!!! So many sweet friends offered up a big celebration that last day, but I definitely didn’t feel like a big party or even dinner. The last round of chemo was the hardest of all. They said it would build in my system and be a little harder each time, but this one hit me hard. I got sick… Read more »

cancer // from sara + kinsley

Give her a puppy. Make her dinner. Give Eva a new outfit. Clean her house. Kinsley’s classmates and I have more in common than our love for new crayons, snack time, and recess. We have thought about ways to make our “Shea-Shea” feel better. For me, a way to fix this or make it all better, but I couldn’t “fix” this. When Shea called me with the news, my reaction was disbelief. How could someone who works so hard to… Read more »

cancer // halfway

This weekend was probably one of the hardest so far. I spent 3 beautiful sunny days on the couch and in the bathroom, super sick from side effects. I had my pity party. I felt sorry for myself. I got angry. There were tears. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to tell my doctor, “I don’t care, I need a break”. Now that my medication is working and I’m starting to feel better… yes, I still want… Read more »

cancer // the hair

It’s gone. I was so ready for it to go. After days of running my hands through my hair to come out with handfuls… seeing it all over my clothes, my house, falling on Eva and getting caught in her clammy little baby fists… it was time. Trying to wash it and dry it and then spend twice as long cleaning it up, I was ready to rip the bandaid off. They said it would start to fall out around… Read more »